Emotional Release Mindset Recipe: Your Beliefs about Emotions (10 mins)
Jan 07, 2026
This recipe helps you uncover where your beliefs about emotions were learned—so you can respond to emotions (yours and your child’s) with more compassion, clarity, and choice instead of control, shutdown, or shame.
Disclaimer
This is an emotional embodiment and self-reflection practice. Strong feelings, memories, or physical reactions may arise as you explore your experiences and your relationships. You are responsible for your own emotional and physical safety. Go at your own pace. Take breaks when needed. If you have a trauma history or feel overwhelmed, pause and ground yourself: feel your feet on the floor, notice 5 things in the room, place a hand on your heart, and breathe slowly. This practice is here to help you unpack emotional baggage and move toward connection, not blame, shame, or re-enact harm. Always listen to your body first. READ FULL DISCLAIMER BEFORE YOU START IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY
Use this when
You notice you’re judging feelings (“too much”), minimizing them, trying to fix them fast, going numb, snapping, people-pleasing, or feeling activated by your child’s big emotions, and you can’t hold space for theirs.
Ingredients
- Journal + pen (or notes app)
- 10-minute timer
- a quiet space,
- water/tissue (optional)
- Something comforting nearby (blanket, tea)
Safety
If you feel flooded, shorten the timer (2–5 minutes), slow your exhales, orient to the room (name 5 things you see), and come back later. If anything feels too intense, stop—support counts.
Opening: Grounding with Touch
Before you begin, take a moment to notice where you are. Let your eyes rest on three things in your space that feel calming or familiar.
Bring your attention to the weight of your body — your feet on the floor, your back supported by the chair.
Take three slow, gentle breaths, only as deep as feels right for you.
To close, place your hands over your heart and say:
“Emotions are welcome here. I am listening with compassion, and I can stop at any time.”
The 3-Step Experiment
Step 1: Find the emotion (2 minutes)
Set the timer for two minutes. Write in your journal or notebook and then fill in the blanks. Write from your heart. Don't worry about spelling and grammar when the time is up, move to step two.
“Right now I feel ________ (sadness/anger/fear/overwhelm/grief/joy).”
“Emotions show up in my body as ________ (tight chest, heat, lump in throat, buzzing, heaviness, numbness, etc.).”
“The emotion I most struggle to allow is ________.”
“What I most want to do right now is ________ (fix, control, freeze, shut down, over-talk, distract, scroll, people-please).”
Step 2: Where my beliefs about emotions came from (5 minutes)
Choose 5–7 prompts and answer quickly. Write the first thing that comes to your mind.
Growing up + what happened next
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“When I had big feelings growing up, what usually happened next?”
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“Who noticed my feelings? Who ignored them? Who punished them?”
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“What did I learn emotions meant about me (weak, dramatic, unsafe, too much)?”
How adults treated me
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“How did adults respond when I cried (soothe, shame, minimize, distract, threaten, fix)?”
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“What phrases do I still hear in my head from caregivers (even if they meant well)?”
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“What emotions were allowed in my home—and which ones weren’t?”
What I witnessed
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“Did I ever see my parents/caregivers feel anger/sadness/fear? What did they do with it?”
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“How did my family handle conflict—talk, avoid, explode, silence, punish?”
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“What did I learn from watching emotions in others: ‘emotions make you…’ ________.”
How others were treated
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“How were kids treated when they cried (school, sports, family gatherings)?”
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“How were adults treated when they showed emotion (respected, mocked, dismissed, controlled)?”
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“What ‘rule’ about emotions did I absorb from my culture/community?”
Beliefs about sensations (emotion-of-emotion)
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“What do I believe will happen if I allow myself to feel the sensations of emotion (tight chest, tears, heat, shaking)?”
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“If I don’t stop these sensations, I’m afraid they will lead to ________.”
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“Because of what I lived/learned, my body believes: ‘If I feel emotions, then ________.’”
Step 3: Reclaim your power (3 minutes)
Lastly, it's time to reclaim your power and embrace your emotions. Set the timer for three minutes and answer the questions below. If you are done before three minutes thats ok - you can go back and write more. When the timer is up, stop writing.
“What did that younger version of me need when they had big feelings?”
“What do I wish an adult had said or done for me?”
“A new belief I’m practicing is: ‘Emotions can be here, and I can still ________.’”
“How do I want to treat my kids (or my inner child) when they feel big emotions?”
“One small, feeling-friendly step I can take in the next 24 hours is ________.”
“Support I can ask for is ________.”
Closing: Differentiate and Soothe
Place one or both hands over your heart. Take a slow, steady breath in and out, allowing your body to soften a little more with each exhale.
Gently remind yourself:
“These are patterns I am observing. They are not the whole of me.”
Thank your emotions for trying to communicate with you.
“I am safe enough to feel, and this is one small step toward building more safety.”
If emotions are still moving through you, let your body express what it needs, perhaps shaking, crying, sweating, yawning, or laughing. Allow the wave to pass naturally, without forcing or stopping it, if you have the space and time.
When you feel ready, bring your awareness back to the present moment.
Notice five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can taste, and one thing you can smell.
To close, say softly:
“Thank you, emotions, for trying to communicate with me. I’m safe enough to feel, and I choose one small step forward.”
Nurture and Integrate
Can you put on some music and dance for five minutes right now — and if not, see if you can make a little time to do that later on? Give yourself space to process more and integrate this recipe in your body and nervous system.
Over the next week, notice what shifts for you. Maybe you yell less, spend more time present, or feel less bad about yourself if you do yell or fall back into old patterns. It’s not your fault; you’re learning, and your kids are lucky to have you as their parent.
Affirmation (Optional)
Choose one affirmation to take into your day or week. Write it on a sticky note and post it somewhere you will see it. Read it as many times as you can remember each day.
You might choose from:
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I allow my emotions to ebb and flow like waves in the ocean.
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My emotions are information, and I choose my response.
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I can validate emotion and still hold boundaries.
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I am safe enough to feel what’s here.
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My breath anchors me in the present moment.
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I listen to my feelings with compassion and lead myself with love.
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I can be tender and brave at the same time.
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I am learning a new relationship with my emotions.
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I am worthy of patience as I grow and change.
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Each small step I take with my emotions builds more safety and trust within me.
Want to go deeper?
This is just a taste. In the FREE (20-page) Beliefs About Emotions, you’ll go deeper by:
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Exploring the beliefs about emotions you inherited from your family, culture, and past experiences.
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Noticing how those beliefs shape your reactions to your child’s big feelings (and your own).
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Gently shifting from “emotions are a problem” to “emotions are messages I can learn to hear.”
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Clarifying the kind of emotional climate you want to create in your home and within yourself.
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Identifying a few simple, doable practices to support new, more compassionate beliefs about feelings.
You can download the free guide here:
FREE GUIDE: BELIEFS ABOUT EMOTIONS
Peace & Love, Julie.
Emotional Release: The Missing Peace
